4 Fears that keep you from dumping him; but you need to do it now anyway

Do you want to leave your relationship but just can't seem to say the words and do it? Every time you try, you back down, leaving you stuck in fear and guilt. What if a breakup is possible without the guilt and fear? (Hint: It is possible.) After repeatedly working with clients who find themselves in this predicament, I can tell you that these are the five reasons they hesitate. So, let me also offer you my take on why you shouldn't let these fears hold you back.
Here are 4 fears that keep you from dumping him but you need to do it anyway:
1. You're scared of being alone in an "uncertain" future
When you find yourself worrying about the future, remember that these feelings just indicate that you're not fully in the present — not that you have anything to fear. Recently, I attended a seminar where I was told to go to a store and ask for an item that they did not carry. I became very nervous and my hands started to get clammy as I imagined how awful the experience would be. And I hadn't even left the room yet! It then occurred to me that my thoughts were creating these feelings of fear. In the end, I was able to accomplish the challenge and enjoy it. We're not very good predictors of the future so it's best to let go of our fears about what is going to happen — and focus on what is happening right now. And right now, you're instincts are telling you it's time to leave this relationship.
2. You're worried about hurting the other person
You're not responsible for how the other person feels. It's a common mistake to think we know how others will feel, which we base almost entirely on how we would feel in a similar situation. The truth is, that feelings come from our thoughts — not from other people's actions. No one can make you feel anything and you cannot make anyone feel anything. Once my clients realize that they're not responsible for how others think or respond, they suddenly feel free to make the right decision for themselves.
3. You've hinged your peace and happiness on things outside of you
All too often, I see people worry if they're making the right decision about leaving a relationship. They believe — incorrectly — that their security, well-being, and happiness depend on how someone else feels. But your happiness and peace depend on your thoughts at the moment and NOT on any external factors. Once you realize that, you'll suddenly feel free to leave a relationship with no strings attached.
4. You're afraid people will think you're a jerk
Many people are afraid to leave relationships because they think this makes them a bad person. They stay because they're afraid of being criticized or labeled as selfish or uncaring. Do not have these fears; leaving a relationship does not say anything about you as a person. Leaving a relationship with someone who you believe is not right for you is a very selfless thing to do. Instead of hanging on to a person whom you don't love, you are letting him or her free to find another partner who does love them.
Source: yourtango.com
Trending News
Ghanaian Diaspora raises concerns over documentation processes at Ministry of Foreign Affairs
03:05Ayariga calls for holistic, people-centered approach to governance and policy implementation
12:00Deputy Minority Leader raises alarm over judicial independence and diplomatic missteps
15:35Mahama slams NPP over “deceptive” Sunyani Teaching Hospital upgrade, announces Legal backing and medical school at UENR
02:21GA/R: MCE of Nima launches anti-drug campaign in ghettos
11:42Parliament hints at probes into COVID funds, Agyapa, PDS scandals
15:07V/R: Hofedo residents raise alarm over siting of new gas station
09:33SUDEF Ghana donates sanitary pads, educates students on menstrual hygiene in Duayaw Nkwanta
10:47Veteran Journalist Nana Kwasi Gyan-Apenteng passes away at 74
13:28Dormahene urges Mahama to stay resolute in anti-corruption fight
09:06